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You might try FolderMatch. It’s basic function of viewing the contents of folders and their files differences may not be what you want since it does compare on a folder-by-folder basis. But its duplicates function allows you to specify multiple root folders (i.e., more than 2) and will find duplicates without regard to folder structure. You can even search without regard to file name, if size and contents works. It is shareware.

I’ve used RealVNC and RDC via the mediated VPN Hamachi for some years (since before LogMeIn bought them out) with generally good results. It also works well for mapping a remote drive. I’ve not upgraded to the new version, however.

Gbridge is another mediated VPN that works well for those with Gmail accounts, since it uses an extension of Google’s gtalk service to establish connections. If you setup your machines with the same Gmail account, you can use remote control (VNC or RDC) and file sharing at will. For family, friends, clients, etc. that use Gbridge with their own Gmail accounts, you can easily talk them through temporarily allowing you control their computer or send them an invitation to see what you are doing. For this Gbridge uses a modified version of UltraVNC and the remote desktop can be view-only if desired. They also offer an autosync function for file shares. Free for personal and commercial use.

Those that like the idea of a simple VPN but like control should check out Neorouter. This program allows you to host your own VPN mediation server on an underused PC or even some routers (if you are comfortable with flashing the firmware). Also free for personal and commercial use with a fairly reasonably priced “professional” version.