• Are you a ‘Delia Smith’ or a ‘REAL WOMAN’??

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    #375748

    Delia’s Way #1
    Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

    The Real Women’s Way #1
    Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for God’s sake. You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.

    Delia’s Way #2
    To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

    The Real Women’s Way #2
    Buy Smash mashed potato mix and keep it in the larder for up to a year.

    Delia’s Way #3
    When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won’t be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

    The Real Women’s Way #3
    Tesco’s sell cakes. They even do decorated versions.

    Delia’s Way #4
    If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it’s still cooking, drop in a potato slice.

    The Real Women’s Way #4
    If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that’s tough. Please recite with me the Real Women’s motto: “I made it and you will eat it and I don’t care how bad it tastes.”

    Delia’s Way #5
    Wrap celery in aluminium foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

    The Real Women’s Way #5
    It could keep forever. I don’t eat it.

    Delia’s Way #6
    Brush some beaten egg white over piecrust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

    The Real Women’s Way #6
    Sainsbury’s frozen pie directions do not include brushing any eggwhites over the crust so I don’t do that.

    Delia’s Way #7
    Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

    The Real Women’s Way #7
    Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and drop it in 8 ounces of tequila. Drink the tequila. You might still have the headache, but who gives a censored?

    Delia’s Way #8
    If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

    The Real Women’s Way #8
    Go ask Mr Tight Butt Cute Legs Single Neighbour to do it for you.

    And finally the most important tip – Delia’s Way #9
    Freeze leftover wine into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

    The Real Women’s Way #9
    Leftover wine????!!!

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    • #612886

      Tx am I ever glad to know I am a “real woman” on all counts.

    • #612905

      laugh rofl laugh Definitely a “REAL WOMAN” here!

      Funny, since my husband moved out, I’ve become too weak to open jars unaided. Problem is, there’s no “Mr Tight Butt Cute Legs Single Neighbour” in the neighborhood. I guess it’s time to move. tongue evilgrin

    • #612970

      >>Delia’s Way #8

      If you can’t find a latex glove or a Mr TBCLSN, run it under the hot tap (faucet) for a bit to expand the metal. Then dry it off quick and it comes off easily. For a stubborn jamjar lid, stab it with a corkscrew to release the vacuum.

    • #612999

      The REAL MAN’s Rendition:

      #1
      Duct Tape.

      #2
      Duct Tape.

      #3
      Fine-toothed hack saws work wonders on ‘white mess’.

      #4
      Offset the salt with plenty of Pepper. Then add tobasco, and call it ‘Cajun Cooking’.

      #5
      Duct Tape.

      #6
      Grab that can of high-gloss polyurethane from the garage, and spread it on right after baking the pie. It’ll be real purrty, just don’t eat it.

      #7
      A careful balance… Your wieght, divided by 10. Half this number, then half again. Drink one beer under the resulting number. Your headache will be gone, at least for a little while.

      #8
      A complicated process. When brute strength has no effect, attach a gear puller to the lid itself. after exerting approximatley 1.5 tons of external pressure, attempt to pry off lid. For lid replacement, see #1.

      #9
      Your standard beer container is likely to explode after being subjected to below freezing temperatures for extended periods of time. You can a. remember to pull the cans out before this time, or B. use that freezer in the garage to determine how long it takes on average, then strategically place a can in the freezer just before your wife wastes ice-cube trays to make another disgusting casserole.

    • #614307

      Don’t tell my fiancee… but apparently, I’m a real woman.

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